mommy's crappy camera

we are dressed and ready for the VET. I am wearing my new trenchcoat! Woohoo even though I am dressed in a cute little coat I won't go outside and have a poo. It is starting to cause me some grief. It is pouring rain. I wait by the door and mommy opens it and I run away - I just can't do it.
mommy's camera isn't working properly but she was finally able to get some crappy pictures off of it.

here is my little trench coat... not a flattering picture. I'll have to set up the tripod and us the timer and do it myself mommy is so bad.

this is mommy's knitting before she discovered she was missing 20 stitches - can she count? and started over... it is about this far again though.
Oh mommy wants me to wear a flower on my trenchcoat - I will go pick one out....
WARNING If I do not post again in the near future then this whole shopwing clothing to the vet was a big trick and I have been given SHOTS or some other horrible thing. Please call the SPCA or chihuahua rescue to look for me if I disappear.
(I know it is that vaccine time of year again)

Stupid Stargate TV Show

Mommy is sewing more for Stargate again. UGHHH she is so boring when she sews. We are working at Auntie Thyrza;s again. I just want to run around outside and look for those eveil kitties but mommy keeps me inside cause I like to hide. I think she is too overprotective.
Tomorrow is our trip to the vet to show them my lovely clothes. Mommy has been sewing all that stuff too. Sew sew sew you'd think it was her job or something. She has made all kinds of things but no pictures on the internet yet. I bet she take a bunch of pictures this weekend.
Mommy cut my nails this morning too - YUCK. I HATE it. I wasa very good though I only squrimed a little. I was excited to come home and play with Daddy but he isn't here. So I will read blogs until he comes home. It looks like Mommy is going to sew more. She hasn't stopped today....... Maybe I should start sewing. I sit on her lap I know how she does it. I will just have to figure out how I can get enough weight to push that foot pedal down.
ok.....

Donut

That's me! I don't know what it is but it is me!
Donut - What others may see as an empty space, you surround with positivity. Be mindful of your difficulty with decisions and fight your inclination to go around in circles. Face adversity with a sprinkle of good cheer, and soon all your troubles will be dunked. Your ideal job: Corrections officer. Marry an M&M or a Gummi, but never a Twinkie.
Born in 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015.
It makes some sense I always spin around 3 times in a circle before I go to sleep - always perhaps I'll start cutting back only spin around twice! Mommy always thinks I am seeing things which might explain the empty space/positivity.
Mommy is a Corn Nut HA HA HA HAHAAAA and Daddy is bridge mix.
Today mommy went out and left me all alone with my very last greenie This was okay but then when she came back she got ready to go again! Only she left me in the backyard. She told me to stay in the back yard. So I did. I couldn't see her but I could hear her and she wasn't going away - she was doing something to her truck. puttering around.
Sometimes Mommy - she is so silly - thinks she can fix her truck. HA HA HA HAAAA. Her engine light went on and she thinks she can do something to fix it. HA HA HAAAA silly mommy. She looks around a bit and then usually goes to daddy and starts to cry.
But today she did something - she had a funny rectangle thing and a screwdriver.... I'm not going for a ride in that truck again anytime soon until a professional looks at it - it will blow up.
So back to my story. I hear all this and knowing mommy's skill I am getting mighty worried but I am supposed to stay so I am really trying. Then I hear her keys and I hear her getting in the truck. Well this is just about too much for me - doesn't mommy know she should NOT BE DRIVING HER TRUCK IF SHE TRIED TO FIX IT? Then I hear Mommy start the truck. OH NO! IT IS GOING TO BLOW UP!!!!!! So I wriggle under the fence as fast as I possibly can. I run out into the road and in front of Mommy's truck. Well it worked. She turned off the truck and ran out of the truck to get me. Just when I thought we were safe SHE PUTS ME IN THE TRUCK AND STARTS IT UP AGAIN! Mommy has a death wish.
Well thank goodness nothing happened. But the engine light was still on - big surprise there. I'm surprised all the lights weren't on after her little experiment. We didn't drive around I guess she was just testing it. Finally she took me back into the apartment. Boy was I relieved. what a stressful moment trying to save her life and all. And did I get any thanks for it? NO. Well that isn't true Mommy and Daddy went out later to the place were they get all the white bags full of food and in one of them I found a bag of pupperoni. I pulled it out and dug on it until Mommy finally opened it for me. Yippee!!!
Our evening was pretty quiet. I wanted Mommy to play with me but since she finally finished those stargate costumes she wanted to start knitting her tankini. So she did. Just to annoy her I sat in front of her and growled for about 1/2 an hour. She has gotten pretty good at ignoring me. Did I mention she went back to urban yarns and got the blue yarn instead of the purple...... silly mommy...

Easter.......

Mommy made Easter Bread. She tried to make it the way Great Grandma did before I was born. I think she did pretty good considering she sucks in the kitchen. (Daddy does all the cooking round here) It would have been better but mommy set the timer and took a nap - she didn't TURN IT ON! Oops woke up to a very brown and crispy bread. They took it out just in time. Mommy also didn't have any food coloring to dye her eggs - which were brown and probably wouldn't color well either. I managed to score a few crumbs off the floor and it was pretty good.

Mommy also finally took a picture of Daddy's slippers. Look he is wearing them and they fit!

Next to start the tankini - if she ever finishes these silly stargate costumes. She has been sewing on the all weekend but she keeps procrastinating. Keeps reading that cat blog.
Happy easter....

Funniest Blog

I just read the funniest blog ever. Mommy is still laughing. It makes everything I do seem like the sweetest angel.
Here we will give you a sample..
She fed Kadi and me some new wet food from Mow Mix last night -- the "Filet Meow" flavor. Well, Kadi never farted more than after she ate that stuff, and I got a BAD case of the runs. I was within a foot of the litterbox when I just couldn't hold it in anymore -- I left what looked like melted dark chocolate all over the rug!

Not just the rug, but also the cord to the vacuum cleaner, which was coiled up neatly on the floor. It was a glorious mess!

And Mommy had just tried yesterday to find her favorite pet stain treatment at several stores, and she couldn't find it and was planning to try again today to get some. HAH. She used lots of soap and mostly got the shit stains off of the carpet and off of the vacuum cleaner cord, but she was dizzy from trying not to breathe in the funk. I took that time to wipe my ass in FOUR PLACES on the carpet. Wow! That was a ton of shit that got stuck in my ass fur!!! She found me hiding in the bathroom and lifted up my tail, only to see even more fudge left in my crack. So she took a bunch of feminine wipes and made my ass clean again.

and another....

Mommy gave us a fresh new litterbox yesterday. Oh, the joy and rapture of it all! The scent of air fresheners perfumed the house instead of cat ass! My ass was happy!

Well, almost happy.

Seems the bitch forgot and put the lid on the cat box. Now, she KNOWS I cannot squeeze my 18-pound ass into the litterbox when the lid is atop it. Of course, I can collapse my girth when I WANT to squeeze into a tiny space, but doing that would be the human equivalent of sucking in one's stomach when your rectum is full of the remains of the Mexican food you ate for lunch.

So, I did the only thing I could do: I pooped on the mat outside Pooh Corner.

And wiped my ass on the wall.

Heh.
I like this kitty!
I crap in a box.

I have been tagged for REAL!!!

I don't know how these work officially - whether someone comes to my house and taps me on the tail or you just read about it. But I was reading Gromit's blog and saw I had been tagged! So I guess I better get to it. I hope I do this right.... So nervous.....

1. How much space is left on your TiVo or Comcast box?
I asked Mommy about this - it sounds like a toybox. Apparently it isn't. She said to say we don't have those and that we are lucky we have cable - it comes with the apartment. I don't know what cable is either but I like our apartment so it must be good.

2. Have you ever bought a DVD of a TV series and if so which one?
Not me - I do go to the video store with Mommy sometimes. I like sniffing all the videos - especially the ones that smell like food. If I had my choice I would buy something with doorbells in it - I love to bark at doorbells. Mommy has to remind me that we don't have a doorbell here so there is no one at the real door.
Mommy said the only dvd she would consider getting are the twin peaks series. Before I was born she used to watch it with Auntie Thyrza every Sunday. I asked her if there was doorbells but she wasn't sure.



3. What was the last TV show you watched before typing this message?
Well Daddy and I are watching golf right now - BUT - there is a squirrel in the backyard - so I have to keep a pretty close eye on that, in fact I better go check right now...... Coast is clear but if I disappear it is because he has come back.

4. List 5 shows you can't live without.
The game show 'Oblivious' - it has LOTS of doorbells in it
Wheel of Fortune - it has what sounds like doorbells in it too.
Any other tv show with doorbells.

5. Name 3 people to whom you will pass these questions.
AUNTIE STEPHANIE - I know she watches tv - even without cable - ONLY 3 CHANNELSunbelievable
Dictator Daddy maybe he will finally do his first entry.......
and
Isa, the only other Chihuahua I know with a blog, maybe she watches tv too
I would tag Auntie Mandy but I know she is busy these days and is always getting tagged

Feels like a Saturday...

Not much happening today. Mommy waited until I woke up then we both went and woke up Daddy. I licked his face alot and made lots of singing noises to wake him up. He liked it. Then when it looked like everyone was ready to play I went and got my chihuahua toy. It was great fun. I wish sometimes we would stay in bed ALL DAY! Mommy and Daddy went out for awhile but then Mommy came back and we went for a walk. She let me take my time and sniff everything. There was no good horse poop to eat. I don't think Mommy was feeling well cause when we got back out came the hot water bottle - that means snuggling on the couch time!!! We've played a little bit but I have been mostly bored today. Daddy has been busy on his computer. I'm not sure what he has been up too - he got a blog but he hasn't written anything on it! It is all empty! I keep checking but NOTHING!
So disappointing. Maybe tomorrow...
I put a link to it down below.
I like links.
I also asked mommy to help me put my toys on my blog. I don't have WIPs but I have ALOT of toys. We aren't sure about the organizing right now but she is working on the code for them. I can make changes later - Like maybe just the favourite toy of the week. There is so many we had a little photo shoot. I wish mommy would get a better camera. And she missed my chihuahua and my hedgehog. We will have to do it again. There isn't even half of them online right now. SOOO MANY!!! I love my toys.. Daddy was trying to teach me to clean them up today - good luck with that one.

Shopping

Mommy and I went out this afternoon. First we went to Urban Yarns. Unfortunately puppies aren't allowed there - even extra cute ones - so I won't get to go again. Mommy was hoping to see Mandy but she had the day off. Maybe next time. Mommy got some cascade fixation yarn. Now she thinks she doesn't like the colors she took - but frankly Mommy they only had 5 colors to chose from. I think she should get over it. Knowing the way she knits it won't fit her anyways so it won't matter if she doesn't like the color.
After that we went to the bank - a touch of wool is across the street. So we went in just to LOOK. Right whatever. Puppies are allowed there. YAY! Mommy bought some more wool for slippers for Daddy. Since those first ones were so unsuccessful.
I wore my new t-shirt while shopping. Mommy tried to take a picture in the backyard but I was makign her chase me.

Stella

This is Stella. Mommy and me like to go to her page on Dogster and laugh. Daddy says she looks like an old prostitute. I sure wouldn't want to try to steal a cookie from her. I'm glad she wouldn't fit in my tent.

I HATE BATHS

She's Nuts

Mommy says I need a bath tonight - I don't know why.

Just a few reasons why Mommy and Me love Auntie Steph

21.She blogs like this:
Blinkette says: (8:52:42 AM)
    I have to go poo... (no, you're not allowed to blog that). brb.
20. She always used to bring Mommy treats from her dads store.
19. She survives in a land with no Sunday shopping.
18. She understands the need for Winners splurges.
17. Auntie Steph takes me shopping in the Bay in a backpack
16. Uncle Andrew tells the best casino closet stories (okay not really about Auntie Steph but it really is a good story and should make it to blog land one day)
15. She is the best Dog - Mother
14. She has stayed good friends with Mommy for a long long time!!! One of the longest - only Mandy beats out Auntie Steph.
13. She made Mommy hot tea when she was sick during the power outage from the hurricane
12. Her special Bob voice.
11. She still refers to 'heather' as 'heather'
10. Uncle Andrew - her sweetie - is actually a spouse in a talented wonderful band
9. She makes me wonderful sweaters
8. She would let Mommy attenpt to eat a dozen donuts - just wait til she comes out here and has krispy kremes - mommy doesn't even get out of the store!
7. She puts up with Dictator Daddy constantly flirting with her.
6. Because she is tiny.
5. On the first morning of her honeymoon she woke Mommy up in bed and took her for breakfast.
4. Her new wonderful husband didn't mind.
3. She is the female version of Dictator Daddy.
2. She makes tasty granola bars for Mommy that Mommy can't eat without making crumbs.
1. She bought me my tent that I sit in everyday.

Puppy Farts

Mommy said I have to be quick because I am going to work with her and it is already late.
I just wanted to let you know about the crazy puppy farts I had after eating that cookies dough! Wooohoooo!!! Sometimes I had to check where it was coming from. Sometimes MOmmy would get up and look around to see if I had had an 'accident'. She kept checking the bottom of her shoes for poopoo. Heh heh it was driving her nuts!!! (THEY WERE EXTREMELY SMELLY) I did it a whole bunch in the car since she had the windows closed - finally she opened the window. Then just before bed Ijumped up on the couch put my butt against her head and let one go (it was payback time for all those times under the blankets) then just for good measure I gave a good shake to spread it all around. Mommy jumped up and ran away it was soo funny. She doesn't even do that with Daddy's farts - mine must be powerful.
Ok ay mommy says we have to go. Her sewing for Stargate didn't go very well last night. The pieces don't match up the way they are supposed to. That is a pretty big problem. Daddy came to keep her company for a bit and spent an hour and a half ripping apart a pant leg for mommy. I hope today goes better for Mommy cause it has to be finished for tomorrow!

Daddy's Birthday

WEEE mommy made cookies yesterday fro daddy's birthday. I was sneaky I posed all nice like I was helping her make them and then just as she snapped the picture I STOLE COOKIE DOUGH HA HA HA HA!!!!! It was good. I begged and begged and begged for more but she wouldn't give it to me. All she kept saying was we need to COOK your COOKies. It was driving me nuts I understand what COOKies means in human talk. She repeated over and over. My mommy is evil.

When Daddy came home I gave him a card.

I typed over the part the flash wrecked so you could read it. Daddy said he thought I has written it myself - whatever daddy then I got it published and mass produced and available at london drugs. He said everything on it was true though.
Here is Daddy with his birthday cake that I wasn't allowed to have. I told mommy to get in the picture but she said it was daddy's picture. Silly mommy I never get pictures of her.

Today we are working at Thyrza's house. Yippee!! They have lots of crumbs on their floor!!! Mommy is making stargate uniforms for a few days. I will get to bug Erez while he is trying to work. HEE HEE HEE....

My Quest for Snotty Kleenex.

Mommy doesn't like it when I pull all the snotty kleenex out of the garbage in the bathroom and shred it all over the place. It is my new favourite thing todo when I am feeling neglected or when theygo out without me.
So she thought she would put the garbage behind the toilet plunger and the toilet brush in an attempt to block me.
How stupid is mommy. Does she not realize how skinny I am that I fit right inbetween them? And did she really think I would be frightened of them? Not when it is my snotty kleenex on the other side.
So during her run today SHE CLOSED THE BATHROOM DOOR! Well that stopped me. Unfair. I don't know why she didn't think of that months ago - I mean really isn't it obvious? I hope she doesn't continue with her current thinking or I will never get that snotty kleenex again. I'll have to play with my TOYS. Sigh...
Today is Daddy's birthday - I got him a card and when he gets home I wil give him kisses. MOmmy said after her shower we can make him a cake, do some dishes and make me more cookies!!!! WEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait!

THE SWEATER

Here it is - Mommy's sweater is FINISHED!!

She did it!!!! I don't think it makes her look fat - she is crazy - it is perfect fro me to snuggle in with her. I'm not in the picture because I was taking the picture - of course!
Can you tell one sleeve is a different dyelot? And she didn't block it or anything because she doesn't know if she needs too. She isn't very clever. It is very very soft because it is made of the rowan cotton/wool. The weather is even being kind of cool today so that it isn't too warm for her to wear it - perfect!
Mommy said she has enough yarn left for her to make me a matching one - I hope it doesn't take as long as hers did....

Cousin

This is a picture of one of my cousins who I have never met.

He lives in quebec with his brother. I think he is pretty cute but not nearly furry enough. I wonder if he likes horse poop too? My Uncle who I have never met sent this picture to dictator daddy. Maybe one day I will get to meet them.

P.S.

Mommy finished her sweater late last night. If she ever gets out of bed - AND has a shower, she doesn't look like a pretty mommy right now, maybe I will help her take a picture.
She said it is really soft although not the most flattering - makes her look HUGE! And since she is trying to lose weight that isn't a good thing. If she doesn't wear it alot I bet she gets her serger out and makes it smaller. Mommy isn't one to rip apart knitting. She just sews it smaller.. hee hee...

is my weather pixie sick?

this is what is showing for my weather pixie right now (maybe still is who knows) I wonder what is going on? What is with all the clouds? the flag? where is the puppy? maybe if mommy and I go outside right now there will be lots of clouds and a huge flag in our backyard - it is a bit menacing no? I guess it could be worse - it could be a huge american flag!!!!
I hope my weather pixie and puppy come back soon - I'm not going out to poo until they do!

Pictures

we went to the beach today. I got to dig in the sand - it was so much fun. I met some other chihuahuas too.
Here is Daddy

Mommy took this picture of me sleeping in the sun this morning. Do you like my new top?

YAYYYY!

We went out last night - it was the first time in FOREVER. My mommy and daddy are recluse - like in their behavior. It is creepy really. I was a good for the car trip I harldy cried - that's because I knew where we were going! When mommy parked the car I was screaming at her - HURRY HURRY HURRY. She told me to be quiet and let her get her seat belt off. She just didn't understand how exciting it was. Just because sje can talk on the phone with people. I can't so it has been a million years since I have seen Auntie Thyrza and Uncle Erez.
When we got there nobody was in the house! I ran from room to room yelling 'where are you?" I was frantic. But no answer. Finally we found UNcle Erez and found out everyone was outside. Yippee!!! I ran and ran. I was so excited I wouldn't even let them catch me. But Auntie Thyrza got me. I licked her whole face - she tastes good. We stayed there for supper - AGAIN they didn't give me anything. After supper I got to sit on mommy's lap on the couch and watch them play a weird game with weird food. They had all this food that looked like paper and some more that looked like my cookies! Only they were blue and red and white. They would put the cookies in the middle of the table and then look at their silly paper food and put more cookies on the table. I was trying really hard to get the cookies in the middle. But all mommy would say was 'how much should I bet?' whatever that means. In the end mommy sucks cause she lost all her cookies. I fell asleep before I saw what daddy finished with.
Oh and how could I forget. I saw that evil cat again!!!!!! Just for a second. I tried to get it but it took off. It is so evil. I don't know why Auntie thyrza and Uncle Erez let it in their house. They should set a trap for it. Maybe next time I am there I will tell them that.
ok.. Mommy's off to running class I will say goodbye to her...

weather pixie

finallyl got me a weather pixie - just what I have always wanted. However - she is supposed ot have alittle dog so it is me and mommy - only no little puppy what went wrong?
oh well now youcan all see how warm it is here. And for those of you in Farenhuit you'll have to imagine...

Mommy's unemployed again

wooohoo mommy is unemployed again... we get to -
wait what is she doing - it is stinky.. hang on....
Ok Mommy is in the bathroom she has on big green rubber gloves and a bottle of something. She is putting something smelly on the top of her head. It really stinks - it makes me sneeze. It is kind of like when she cleans the bathroom and I sneeze and sneeze only it is on her head. She is weird and she looks funny... She was singing some song about how she hopes all her hair doesn't fall out.
Whatever. Anyways she is unemployed again and we get to sleep in. On Mommy's current sleep pattern that means sleeping until 7:00am. We lied on the couch after she got up and watched bad tv though while we kissed each other and I got a tummy rub. I love my mommy.
I'm a little bored now - I wish mommy would take me for a walk. I heard something scary last night on our run. We were running beside the water and it was dark and all I could hear was 'ribbit ribbit' I was so scared kept trying to cross the street. The one time I did try to go see what it was - I was just shaking - it stopped making the noise. I have never heard such a think before. So scary.
I'm gonna go see if her hair fell out yet and then have some breakfast.

Busy Puppy

I have been working so hard I have not had time to do another post. Today was an early one - We left at 6:00am to get to work for 6:45am - I forgot to go poo poo until we got there - ohhhhhh I had to hold it in. I helped mommy with the dressing rooms and then we went to catering for breakfast. I tried so hard to get in the catering truck but mommy kept coming and taking me out.There were lots of good things to eat on the floor by the catering truck.
We had a little nap in the morning. Unfortunately that bloody walkie talkie is going the whole time so we didn't fall totally asleep. Every now and then mommy had to get up and move clothes around. What a weird job she has. I would warn her whenever the extras were coming and let her know if it was someone I wanted to give a kiss too.
We got to come home early I was so happy about that I didn't puke at all on the way home.
I have some pictures to show everybody!

Me and grandma during a walk when she was visiting

Daddy giving me a belly rub


Sarah Brown giving Daddy a haircut - I was worried she would give me one too so I kept hiding in my tent

Mommy and me sleeping - we were so tired after work one day we fell asleep just like that with the lights on and everything. Daddy snuck in a took a picture and woke us up.

work

Work is sooo hard. We left early this morning. I was prepared though. I got up with mommy and had some crunch crunch and a poop before we left - smart eh? When we got there we went for brekfast - nothing fro me again. Then we sat in the truck and sat and sat and sat. It was a gorgeous day outside so we sat in a lawnchair in front of the door and suntanned. Here are some pictures...


Mommy was working hard too....

It is her last sleeve for her sweater. So close - maybe even this weekend.
I was a good girl for the drive home - I didn't cry at all. I was happy to be home the first thing I did was hump baboon - then give daddy a kiss....
Time for bed.

No Licking

Mommy hasn't taken me to work this week. Today she came home early though! We had a nap together - it was so nice! After the nap we went for a run. It was raining and I kept trying to turn around. Mommy wouldn't let me go home so she put my leash on me. Running was fun though and there was hardly and big dogs to sniff my butt. When we started to run home again Mommy took my leash off again. YAY! I flew like the wind. It was still raining but it wasn't too bad in the trees. On the way home I managed to get two big chunks of horse poop! Mom screamed at me so I ate it real fast. Yummy.
Daddy aka Dictator won't let me lick tonight. Probably has something to do with the horse poop.
Tomorrow I am going to work with mommy. Our call time is 7:15 and it takes an hour to get there. We will have to get up early tomorrow. Eeks....
Then Mommy has Friday off. There is a new store downtown that is selling dog clothes so Mommy wants us to go look and see if they will sell my clothes. It is very expensive! What fun...
Daddy still won't let me lick. It makes me sad.