Saturday, March 26, 2005

Funniest Blog

I just read the funniest blog ever. Mommy is still laughing. It makes everything I do seem like the sweetest angel.
Here we will give you a sample..
She fed Kadi and me some new wet food from Mow Mix last night -- the "Filet Meow" flavor. Well, Kadi never farted more than after she ate that stuff, and I got a BAD case of the runs. I was within a foot of the litterbox when I just couldn't hold it in anymore -- I left what looked like melted dark chocolate all over the rug!

Not just the rug, but also the cord to the vacuum cleaner, which was coiled up neatly on the floor. It was a glorious mess!

And Mommy had just tried yesterday to find her favorite pet stain treatment at several stores, and she couldn't find it and was planning to try again today to get some. HAH. She used lots of soap and mostly got the shit stains off of the carpet and off of the vacuum cleaner cord, but she was dizzy from trying not to breathe in the funk. I took that time to wipe my ass in FOUR PLACES on the carpet. Wow! That was a ton of shit that got stuck in my ass fur!!! She found me hiding in the bathroom and lifted up my tail, only to see even more fudge left in my crack. So she took a bunch of feminine wipes and made my ass clean again.

and another....

Mommy gave us a fresh new litterbox yesterday. Oh, the joy and rapture of it all! The scent of air fresheners perfumed the house instead of cat ass! My ass was happy!

Well, almost happy.

Seems the bitch forgot and put the lid on the cat box. Now, she KNOWS I cannot squeeze my 18-pound ass into the litterbox when the lid is atop it. Of course, I can collapse my girth when I WANT to squeeze into a tiny space, but doing that would be the human equivalent of sucking in one's stomach when your rectum is full of the remains of the Mexican food you ate for lunch.

So, I did the only thing I could do: I pooped on the mat outside Pooh Corner.

And wiped my ass on the wall.


I like this kitty!
I crap in a box.

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